I have been giving “reluctant vibes” to all friends in my recovery circles. Of course I never explain the reason for the mood alteration. Naturally, “my drug of choice” was the prime suspect for this mood change.

After a few years of silence, practicing the spiritual principle of pause and patience or as I like to characterize it “Observe , but Don’t Absorb”, I like to explain why.

My reluctance was a social commentary regarding the program’s traditions, which will be discussed shortly.

But, first. I like to explain about "how I expressed my reluctance”, that wasn’t too extreme of “reluctance” anyway.

I came up with “Happy day of the week” routine. “Happy Wednesday” was one of my favorites. It was short and sweet. The colorful painting was an intentional aspect of the message of reluctance. It was a balancing act.

I am sure people have been wondering, what is up with such strange behavior.

There were multiple reasons behind the message of reluctance. In here I cover the topic of

Anonymity and Tribal Gaslighting

For a long period of time my anonymity has constantly been discarded. In order to deal with this, I decided to deal with the source of the issues , which is “Anonymous Gossip Club”.

My strategy was twofold. First was to starve them of any material to gossip about. Second was to put them in the spotlight.

The best way was to say absolutely nothing specific about myself. In a sense I chose “self imposed anonymity

“.

That is why I devised the strategy of “Happy Day of the week” and a painting response . It worked like a charm. All the conversations with friends ended up with these two topics: “Happy day of the week” and art. I said absolutely nothing specific about myself.

It was very effective. I progressively appeared as a “Zombie”, Although, I was progressively becoming well connected to myself.

The message of this performance is very clear. The “Anonymous Gossip Club” turns people into zombies. Anytime they gossip , effectively they dehumanize their subjects.

They do that through various means. This essay is about various forms of “tribal gaslighting”, as it has been in my case.

Whether “the disregard for anonymity” has been malevolent in nature or not is not discussed here. I leave that for another time. The objective here is simply to emphasize the importance of the spiritual principle of anonymity.

The Principle of Anonymity is absolute. It requires all of us to say nothing about other members. In addition, It also requires all of us to hear nothing about any other members.

And that means "not a word".

There are many explanations as to what anonymity is. But, I believe, it serves another purpose that is usually not talked about. That is to protect members from the family dysfunctions that members bring to the meetings.

From my observation with my two regular meetings, I have concluded the following forms of family dysfunction created by disregard for anonymity.

• Enmeshment

• Trauma Bonding.

• Munchausen by Proxy

• Hoovering

• Triangulation

• Collective Grooming (Narcissistic grooming)

• Data Mining(Tracking, scouting)

• Public Belittling

This is a social commentary and is not meant to insult anyone. If, you feel offended, I am sorry. That wasn't my intension.

Explanation:

I have listed the explanation of each topic in this section.

• “Anonymous Gossip Club”

We are all part of this gossip Club. And, that includes me. When I use the term, I don’t mean any particular person. We all participate. One word here from one person, another word there from another person, they all get added up. That is how “Tribal Gaslighting” get started.

Spiritual principle of anonymity requires us that , "Not a word " should be discussed about another person. That is what anonymity means.

For example questions like “have you seen so and so ?” Or “How is so and so?” are effectively asking for permission to start gossiping about other members.

That becomes important when the person in question has not given the permission.

• Tribal gaslighting

Gaslighting by Tribe | Psychology Today

Intimate vs Tribal Gaslighting: Differences & How to Spot Them - YouTube

• Enmeshment Trauma Bonding

When Family Relationships Become Toxic: The Trauma of Enmeshment

Blog Therapy, Therapy, Therapy Blog, Blogging Therapy, Therapy,.. (goodtherapy.org)

• Trauma Bonding

Warning Signs Of Trauma Bonding: What Is Trauma Bonding And How To Cope (abusewarrior.com)

• Munchausen by proxy

This is really the case of narcissistic devaluation. Step 12 can easily be abused as the case of (Munchausen by proxy)

Factitious Disorder Imposed On Others (Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy) (clevelandclinic.

• Hoovering

Hoovering is self-explanatory . People could be hoovered through friends. That is certainly the break of anonymity. It often has a sexual connotation.

I am a very shy heterosexual man. For now, I share his love/text ,that I have received through spear-phishing. I leave you with

how to interpret it.

The following links are greta source for the topic

8 Signs You’re the Victim of an Abusive “Hoovering” Narcissist ⋆ LonerWolf

What is "hoovering"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships) - YouTube

• Triangulation

What is "triangulation"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships) - YouTube

I have been triangulated through 47 members of our community . I will release an art sculpture /relief in the future.

Note: It is important to note that if Person A doesn’t consent to this triangle, that will become stalking. At least, that is what state of NJ defines it.

• Data Mining(Tracking, scouting)

I leave this for the future writing. But, the readers can interpret as what that means.

• Collective Grooming

This is cult-like behavior that needs separate writing by itself. It is about the tactics used to form an opinion about a member of the community

• Public Belittling

Dismissing one's experience as a joke. Phrases like you are too serious or "you are too sensitive" are designed to dismiss people’s experience. Theses are signs of psychopathy.